It has been a while since I updated, but not for lack of wanting to. I have had this post in my mind for quite some time, but haven't found the time to sit down and actually write it down. Two completely different entries could be written that have the same title as this post. This is not a post about the awesome Nickelodeon show from the 90's, but my attempt to be witty and creative with my titles.
This post is my way of saying that I will no longer let fear stand in my way. This not to say that I will not be afraid of things because that is preposterous. It is just saying that fear should not hold me back. I had a realization that I have all of these great ideas and these great choices about characters and ways to realize them to stage, but I would shy away from them and take the safe route out because it was easier. Nobody can HATE the safe choice, they just don't like it very much.
The best actors make the boldest choices, and they follow through with them. I recently realized that this is one of the hurdles that I will need to cross. I have crossed it before, and when I make bold and interesting choices they have always been met with positive feedback. The issue is that I need to make these bold choices on a consistent basis, and to do them in auditions. This is not to say that every every reading needs to have some enormous affectation or some huge decision, but to say that when I make character choices to stick to them.
One terrible instance of this happened about a year ago. I was at a callback for Brighton Beach Memoirs and I had practiced the audition in two different ways, one with my normal everyday accent, and one with a Brooklyn accent. I was told my Brooklyn accent was good by a friend, but me with my lack of confidence and fear of failing decided to go without the accent. Trouble is, with the way the dialogue is written and who I was reading with the accent came out on certain lines, which never looks good.
To sum it all up, I am no longer going to be afraid to stick to my convictions. I will also not be afraid that someone is going to judge me or think I am weird because I had an original take on a character. What is the worst that can happen? They remember me for being different? Hell! At least that means they remember me.
Cheers
I read your blog and I can totally relate to your holding back. When I was a younger musician and lounge singer in Las Vegas, everytime I had the opportunity to make it "big professionally", the only obstacle in my way was ME! Everyone I performed for always told me I was good enough to be "famous", the only one that didn't believe it was me. Believe in yourself and don't hold back, always give it everything you've got and you will succeed in your endeavors. good luck Jeff, Eddy Clayton
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